In My Mother's Shoes
by Melissa Brooks
Summary: *AU* This story is a sequel to Broken and it will focus mainly on the original characters Madison and Matthew Manning as well as Hope Thornhart. Todd, Marty, Victor, Tea, Starr and Cole will be in it as well. Madison is a wild child and lies to her parents in order to go to a party. Will history repeat itself with Todd and Marty's daughter?
1. Chapter 1

In My Mother's Shoes

AN: This story is a sequel to Broken. It will focus mainly around Madison and Matthew Manning and Hope Thornhart. Madison and Matthew are 15. Hope is 17. It will also include Todd and Marty and Victor and Tea. This story is written from Madison's point of view.

*The Lie*

"Hey mom can I go out for the night?" I asked my mother.

"It depends on where you want to go. Your father already said you couldn't go to the party."

"I know that Mom. Hope's invited Matthew and I to the movies. So can we go?" I hated lying to my mom, but I already knew that they would never let me go to that party especially not with their history.

"Sure, but I want you home by eleven."

"Okay thanks mom," I said as I kissed her cheek.

I went upstairs and got dressed in a sweater and jeans as I threw the tank top and mini skirt that I had bought for the party in my purse.

"Are you ready to go? Hope's here," Matthew stated.

"Yeah," I grabbed my purse and headed out the door with Matthew.

"I can't believe that you lied to mom. If we get caught, we're going to be grounded for like a month," Matthew stated.

"I know. I hate lying to her too, but I had to. I couldn't miss this party not when Nathan had asked me to go. I've liked him for two years and he could have asked anybody, but he asked me. I know that you're both taking a big risk, but I really appreciate it.

"It's okay, I wanted to go to the party anyways," Hope stated.

"I'd do anything for you, but I honestly don't understand your crush on Nathan."

"It's not a crush. I love him because he's funny and sweet when he doesn't think anybody is watching. He's kind of dangerous and mysterious and he's incredibly sexy."

"I'm sure that it doesn't hurt that he's 16 and can drive or that he's the school quarterback and is super popular."

"I like those things as well," I stated as I began to blush thinking of how much I wanted to impress Nathan. "Can we stop off at a gas station?"

"Sure...why?"

"I want to change for the party."

"What's wrong with what you're wearing?" Matthew asked.

"It's not sexy enough."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that," Matthew said as he pulled a face.

Once Hope had pulled into the gas station, I went inside and changed. I looked great, my breasts were slightly visible above my red tank top and the jean mini skirt showed off my greatest assets...my legs. I walked back out to the car and tried not to pay attention to Matthew shaking his head.

"Where did you get that outfit?" Matthew asked as I hopped in the car.

"I bought it why?"

"You better hide that from your dad, because I'm certain that Todd will destroy it if he ever finds it," Matthew stated.

XOXOXO

*The Party*

We had finally arrived at the party and I instantly locked eyes with Nathan. Hope and Matthew left to go socialize with the other guests and I was left alone. I watched as Nathan grabbed a couple of jello cups off the counter and walked over to me.

"Do you want a jello shot?" Nathan asked.

"What's in it?" I asked.

"Raspberry jello and Vodka. They're pretty good. Do you want one?

I had never drank before, but I didn't want to seem lame so I grabbed it and ate it. They tasted better than I expected. I instantly felt warm as the alcohol burned down my throat. I ate four jello shots while Nathan and I talked about his winning touchdown. I had never felt so happy in my entire life.

"Dance with me?" I asked.

"I would love to," Nathan said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and we began to dance.

The room was spinning and I was tired so I laid my head down on his chest.

"Have you ever done body shots before?" Nathan whispered in my ear.

"No," I said as I giggled. I didn't know why I was laughing, but everything seemed funny to me.

"Do you want to come upstairs with me?" We can find an empty bedroom and we can do some body shots."

"Sure," I stated.

Nathan grabbed the bottle of Vodka off the counter and we headed upstairs to one of the bedrooms. I sat down on the bed as he locked the door.

He came over to the bed and began kissing me as he lifted my tank top off of my head. I felt a warm sensation in between my legs.

He helped me lay down on the bed and poured Vodka on my bare skin. When he was done he licked and sucked on my stomach.

"God...you're so beautiful. I'm glad that I asked you here, he stated as he begun to unbutton his jeans. He threw his pants across the room and climbed on top of me. He was kissing my neck as he began to stroke my panties.

There was a part of me that wanted him so much, I had liked him for such a long time and he had finally noticed me but I knew that I wasn't ready to have sex with him or anybody else.

"Stop, I can't do this. I want to go home, I don't feel very good," I said as I sat up.

He pushed me back down on the bed as he slapped my face. Then he held my wrists above my head. "Who do you think you are you stupid little cunt. You can't tease me into thinking that you're going to have sex with me just to pull away at the last minute," he screamed at me.

He tore off my panties as I begged him to stop. He continued to tell me it was all my fault as he shoved his penis into me.

I screamed...it hurt so much but he didn't care. He continued to thrust into me over and over again until he exploded into me.

He let go of my wrists and rolled off of me. I was to afraid to move so I stayed by his side. "I love you so much Madison. I've always loved you," he whispered and then he passed out.

I had never been so confused. How could he claim to love me after he had hurt me? Maybe he loved me too much, the way that my father loved my mother...with an obsession that led to insanity.


	2. Chapter 2

*Aftermath*

I was too scared to move, but I knew that I had to leave. I looked at the clock and knew that Matthew and Hope must be panicking. It was 10:59 and we had a minute until we were supposed to be home.

I looked over at Nathan and he was still passed out on the bed next to me. I slowly moved away from him, noticing the blood stains on the white sheets. My panties had been torn so I stuffed them in my purse. I grabbed my tank top and pulled it on over my head. My new mini skirt was torn as well, but I had no choice. Leaving in a torn mini skirt was better then leaving wearing nothing at all.

"Madison," Nathan moaned.

I froze hoping that he wouldn't hurt me again.

He didn't move and I took a deep breath as I realized that he was still sleeping.

I slowly and cautiously crept towards the door and unlocked it. I pryed the door open and left. I walked down the stairs and I spotted Matthew and Hope coming in from outside. They looked angry and panicked until they saw me.

"Madi, what happened? Did Nathan do this to you?" Matthew asked.

"I'll tell you in the car, we need to go," I said as my eyes filled with tears.

Hope gave me her jacket when she saw my ass sticking out of the tear in my mini skirt. I wrapped it around my legs and headed to their car.

"We have to call mom, we're way passed curfew and if she sends our dads out looking for us we'll be in deep shit." I stated.

"It's okay I already called mom and asked if we could spend the night at Hope's when we couldn't find you and she gave us permission. what happened to you? Why is your face and wrists bruised? Why do you reek of alcohol? Why aren't you wearing any underwear and why is your skirt torn?" Matthew asked.

"Before I tell you...you have to swear that you won't say anything especially to our parents."

"We promise that we won't say anything. What's going on? Hope asked.

"I had a lot to drink tonight and Nathan and I went to one of the upstairs bedrooms. Nathan and I were making out on the bed and when I told him that I wasn't ready to have sex with him, he flipped out and he hurt me."

"Did he rape you?"

"Yes."

"Madison, you have to tell mom. She's been through this before. She can help you."

"Our parents can't know Matthew. You promised me that you wouldn't say anything."

"That was before I knew what that bastard did to you."

"Our father's can never know what happened. If they find out that I was raped they will kill Nathan and then they'll go to prison. You know I'm right. I can't be responsible for them going to prison on top of everything else. God, how could I have been so stupid. Why did I drink tonight? Why did I wear this slutty outfit. Maybe Nathan was right...I am nothing, but a tease." As angry as I was at Nathan there was still a part of me that cared about him and I didn't want to see him die at my father's, uncle's or brother's hands.

"You didn't do anything wrong and you didn't deserve to get raped. You need to press charges against Nathan and make him answer for what he did to you," Hope stated.

"I can't."

"So you're just going to let Nathan get away with hurting you," Hope stated. "You're not going to press charges?" Hope asked.

"I can't Hope. I just want this night to be over with. As soon as we get to your house I'm going to shower and forget this whole night ever existed."

"You can't shower, you'll wash away all the evidence."

"I don't want to press charges."

"Maybe not tonight...but what about in a week or a month from now? What if you change your mind and it's too late. You need to go to the hospital and be seen by a doctor, " Hope stated.

"I can't...I'm a minor. I can't be checked out by a parent without my parent's permission.

"I'll drive you to a hospital in Pine Valley where nobody knows you and we'll pay cash and you can refuse to give them your name. What do you say?"

I took a deep breath. "Okay, but you need to check in with your parents first."

I stared at the window and wondered if there would ever be an end to this night.

XOXOXO

*Cover Story*

Hope stopped at a gas station so that I could change my clothes before we went to her house.

I gasped when I looked in the mirror, I looked like hell. My hair was all over the place, my cheek was black and blue from where Nathan had hit me. I knew that I had to come up with a cover story, but I couldn't think of anything. My mind seemed stuck on the images that I wanted to forget most. I couldn't stop thinking about what Nathan did to me, no matter how hard I tried...the night's events seemed to be on auto repeat and I couldn't think of anything else.

I changed my clothes, feeling slightly better that I wasn't wearing those disgusting, vile pieces of clothing any more. I splashed water on my face and headed out to the car.

When we got to Hope's house, we tried to sneak in, but Cole and Starr were waiting for us.

"Do you know how late it is Hope? You were supposed to be home a half hour ago...Madi, what happened?" Cole asked as he noticed the bruise on my face.

"I...um...I"

"Madison tripped on some ice when the movies ended. That's why we're late," Matthew stated coming to my rescue.

"Have you been drinking? You smell like Vodka."

"Some homeless guy spilled his drink on her when he was trying to help her up," Hope stated.

"Are you okay?" Cole asked. "You seem really upset."

"I'm fine. I'm just tired. I'll feel better in the morning," I said as I headed to Hope's room.

I wasn't feeling good. I felt nauseous, tired and dizzy. I ran to the toilet and started to throw up.

Hope came in and held my hair while I continued to puke.

"Where's Matthew?" I asked when my stomach contents had been emptied.

"He agreed to sleep on the couch tonight so that he could let us know when my parents have gone to bed and then he'll stay behind and be our watch out while we are gone."

"I don't know what I would have done tonight if you and Matthew hadn't have been there for me. I'm really sorry that I dragged you into this whole mess."

"Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm glad that we were with you tonight, when you needed us and we're going to stick by you no matter what."

"Hey guys the coast is clear,"Matthew whispered as he walked in the room. "You better take off now so that you can be back by morning. Don't worry, I got your back and I'll cover for you as long as I can.

"Thanks Matthew," I stated as I stood up and left with Hope.

XOXOXO

*Examination*

Hope drove while I tried to sleep. Trying to fall asleep was pointless. Every time I closed my eyes I thought about Nathan on top of me and I couldn't breathe.

When we got to Pine Valley, she stopped off at the nearest hospital and we went inside. Hope tracked down the first doctor she saw and explained that I had been raped and needed to be examined.

Doctor Angela Hubbard came over and took me into an examination room. She asked me my name, but I didn't say anything. When she asked me if I had been raped I shook my head yes.

Hope stayed in the room with me while she poked and prodded my already tender genital area to gather the necessary evidence for the rape kit. I felt like I was being violated all over again.

She handed me a pill that she called the morning after pill. She explained that it would reduce my chances of getting pregnant and then she left the room to give me privacy. I couldn't become pregnant. I was far too young to have a baby and my father would go ballistic if he ever found what had happened. I swallowed the pill and began to get dressed.

"We have to leave Hope. It's only a matter of time before Doctor Hubbard calls the police and I really don't want to deal with them tonight."

"I'll check to see if the coast is clear," Hope stated as she peaked out the door. "It's too late, Doctor Hubbard is already talking to the cops. What are we going to do?"

"Come here and help me open this window," I stated.

Once Hope and I opened the window we hopped out of it. We were lucky that the examination took place on the first floor of the hospital. We made it to the car and Hope took off.

The drive home took longer than usual, I was still sick and we had to pull over several times so that I could throw up.

When we got back to Hope's Matthew let us in and we headed to her room to get some much needed sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

*The Morning After*

I couldn't sleep without nightmares plaguing me so I hopped in the shower hoping that I would feel more like myself after I had washed away what Nathan did.

I scrubbed my skin until it was raw but I still felt dirty. The water had turned ice cold and I knew that I had to get out.

The sun was beginning to rise as I finished dressing. After I finished dressing I headed back to Hope's bedroom, I grabbed my phone and noticed that I had fifteen missed calls. My hands shook as I noticed Nathan's name under the missed calls section.

"What happened?" Hope asked.

"Nathan called me."

"Just ignore it until we change your number."

"He left a voicemail, should I listen to it?"

"Why? What's he going to say thats going to change what he did to you? I think that you should delete that message and not let him hurt you anymore then he already has, but it's up to you. You need to do what's best for you."

"I can't ignore him. He's not just going to go away, I have to know what he wants from me," I said as I played his message.

"Madison, it's me...Nathan. I was really messed up last night and I don't remember what happened. When I woke up you were gone...my knuckles are bruised and there's blood on the bed...and I'm afraid that I hurt you. Will you just call me back so that I know you're okay."

I threw the phone across the room. How could he forget what he did to me? How could I call him back? What was I supposed to say to him?

"What did he say?" Hope asked as she stared at me.

"He doesn't remember raping me...he doesn't have a clue. How can I tell him what he did to me? Should I tell him? I can't talk to him...I can't face him," I stated in between labored breaths. I felt like my chest was caving in, my head was pounding, my stomach was churning, and my hands were shaking.

"It's okay...you don't have to talk to him. You're going to be okay, nobody's going to hurt you ever again."

I sat down on Hope's bed wondering if I would ever go back to the girl that I used to be.

XOXOXO

*Suspicions Over Breakfast*

"Hey Madison, my dad called and he wants us to go have breakfast at his house this morning. I said that we would go and he's on his way to pick us up, but if you want I can call him back and tell him that you're sick or something," Matthew stated as he walked into Hope's bedroom.

"No, I'll go." I stated. I couldn't hide out from our parents forever. Sooner or later I would have to face them.

I headed to the bathroom to get dressed and headed out with Matthew.

The doorbell rang and I knew that Victor was here. I finished applying the concealer to my face, not that it helped much, the bruise was still fairly noticeable and then I headed out to the living room.

"Oh my god, Madison!" Victor stated as he rushed to my side. "Who fucking laid his hands on you?" he asked as he traced the bruise on my face.

I tried not to react, but my body flinched away from his touch and I could hear myself telling him not to touch me.

"Who did this to you?" he asked again as he pulled his hand away from my face and took a step back from me.

"Nobody hurt me...I...um...I fell on some ice. Can we just go?" I asked hoping that my cover story was the same one that I had used on Cole. I had lied so much in the last couple of days that it was becoming hard for me to keep them straight.

"Sure, let's go," Victor stated as he looked at me suspiciously. I could tell that he wasn't buying my cover story, but hopefully I could convince him that I was fine over breakfast.

-

"Madison, what happened?" Tea asked when we walked in the door.

"It's nothing, I'm just a clutz and I fell down."

"On some ice, right?" Victor questioned as he walked in after us.

"Yeah."

"That's terrible," Tea stated as she pulled me into a hug.

Once again I flinched and my hands started shaking and my breathing began to accelerate. I hugged her briefly back and then pulled away before I started hyperventilating.

"Are you feeling okay?" Tea asked.

"I'm just tired...I didn't get much sleep last night."

I tried my best to be happy, energetic, and friendly throughout breakfast. Tea seemed to buy into my act, but Victor looked concerned.

I needed a moment to collect myself so I excused myself from the table and headed into the bathroom. On my way back I froze...I could hear them talking about me. They couldn't see me, but I could hear them so I stood there and listened to their conversation.

"Matthew, I would really appreciate if you wouldn't lie to me like your sister is," Victor stated.

"I'm not lying, she slipped on some ice, like she said."

"I'm sorry, but that story doesn't make sense. If she fell on the ice like she claimed then she should have scratches on the palms of her hands and there should not be a bruise on her face."

"Victor, if she says that she fell on the ice, then I'm sure that's what would she lie to us?" Tea asked.

"Come on Tea, how many people fall forward without putting their hands out to brace themselves against the fall. It just isn't ringing true. I'm convinced that Madi is lying to protect the son-of -a-bitch who hurt her."

"You're just being paranoid," Tea stated.

"Am I? I know what a traumatized girl looks and acts like. She flinched when I touched her face and when you hugged her. The look in her eyes...I've seen that look before in her mother's eyes...she's scared. Not to mention, she's not acting like herself, I'm not buying into the charade that she's happy when her eyes tell me a different story. "

"I'm not lying...I'm fine and you don't have any proof to the contrary," I stated as I rounded the corner.

"Madison, I'm just worried about you. You're my daughter just as much as you're Todd's. I love you and I know you better than you think and you're hurting inside."

"I know that you love me, but I need you to trust me. I would tell you if somebody had hurt me...I wouldn't lie to you about something like that. Can you take me home now? I'd really like to get some sleep."

"Okay, I'll take you home, but I want you to know that if you ever want to talk to me, I'm here for you."

"I know."

Victor dropped me and Matthew off at home. I was grateful when I realized that my parent's car was gone. I didn't have it in me to deal with any more questions about my bruised face.


	4. Chapter 4

*Questions*

I got out of bed after an hour of tossing and turning. I was exhausted, but every time I closed my eyes I could feel him violating me all over again. It had become my nightmare that I could not escape...I thought about him when I was awake and I couldn't sleep without the crippling fear taking over.

I went down to the kitchen and my mom was making lunch. It was such a small thing, but there was something about the normalcy of walking in on my mom cooking that comforted me.

I wanted my mommie...I wanted her advice...and I wanted the comfort that she could provide, but if I told her what happened she would tell dad. Maybe there was a way that I could talk to her about what my father did to her when they were in college and hope that she didn't become suspicious.

"Mom, can I ask you a couple of questions?"

"Sure, what do...Madie what happened?" she asked as she turned around and saw my face.

"I slipped and fell on some ice last night...I'm okay...it looks worse then it is."

"That's a pretty nasty bruise, baby. Are you sure you're okay? Maybe you should put some ice on it."

"I'm fine mom, but I have some questions that I need you to answer."

"Okay, what's going on?"

"I have questions about dad and what he did to you at the spring fling." The look on my mother's face tore out my heart. She looked confused, and pain clouded her eyes and I instantly regretted bringing it up. I now knew what she must have gone through that night. How could I bring up such an awful night and make her relive the pain? "We don't have to talk about it mom. Forget I said anything," I stated as I walked away.

"Madi, come back here and talk to me. What do you want to know?" she asked.

"Why did dad rape you? I know that you and dad tried to explain that night to me and Matthew, but I still don't get it. If he loved you so much how could he force you into doing something that you didn't want to do? How could he sit by and do nothing while his friends raped you?"

"It's taken me a lot of years to figure out why your father reacted to my rejection the way that he did and in some ways, i'm not sure that I'll ever figure it all out. I think that at the time your father was afraid of his feelings for me. I was probably the first person that he had ever let himself care about and when I rejected him, I really hurt him and humiliated him and he wanted to hurt me. There is no excuse for what your father did, but he had a rough childhood and an abusive father that taught him that love equals pain."

"So he had a lousy childhood. A lot of people have lousy childhoods and they don't all grow up to be rapists. What he did to you was disgusting. How could you forgive him after the pain that he caused you?"

"Your father's changed from the abusive man that he used to be. He's haunted by what he did to me and in some ways I think the memory of that night is worse on him then it is on me. I've seen him struggle against his demons, memories, and self hatred. It's taken me a long time to forgive him and I think that the only reason that I was able to was love. I've always loved your father and eventually the love that I felt for him was stronger then the hate and the pain and at that point it came down to trust. Your father and I have worked really hard on learning to trust one another."

"How did you get over being raped?"

"I don't think that it's ever something that you completely get over, but with every day the pain fades until you're left with a scar. Did I answer all of your questions?"

"Yeah, thanks mom, I'm sorry that I brought up such a painful subject."

"It's okay baby, but is there a reason that you have so many questions?"

"Some kids at school asked me about it and I was just curious."

"When's lunch? I'm starved," my dad asked as he walked in the kitchen.

I stared at his scar and all I could think about was that he had hurt my mother the way that Nathan had hurt me. It was as if I could no longer see the father that I had once loved and adored, all I could see when I looked at him now was the monster that he had once been.

"What happened to you Madie?" he asked as he came near me.

"Nothing...stay away from me," I stated as I backed away from him.

"What did I do?" he asked.

"You raped my mother, that's what you did. Maybe she's forgiven you, but I sure as hell haven't."

"Madison, that's enough. Apologize to your father."

"It's okay Marty. She doesn't have to apologize to me...she has every right to hate me, but I am sorry about what I did to your mom, but I can't change it...all I can do now is try to be a man that's worthy of her forgiveness and maybe one day, you'll be able to forgive me as well."

"I'm not really hungry anymore. I'll be in my room," I stated as I walked up the stairs.

"She hates me," I could hear him saying to my mother.

"She doesn't hate you...she's just confused," I heard my mom reply.

My mom was right. I was confused...I thought that I had accepted my parent's violent history, but that was before I had walked in my mother's shoes and now that I really knew what my father did to her I didn't know if I would ever be able to look at him without thinking about Nathan and what he did to me.

XOXOXO

*Confrontation*

It was Monday morning and I laid in bed debating whether or not I should fake being sick to get out of going to school. If I went...Nathan could be there and I wasn't ready to face him, but at the same time I knew that I couldn't avoid him forever.

I told myself that I had to go on with my life...I couldn't stay in bed or hide in my house because I was too afraid of running into him.

I climbed out of bed and changed into a baggy sweater and some jeans. I went to the bathroom and tried to make myself look presentable, but it was useless. I was no longer the beautiful teenage girl that I once had been. My face was still black and blue from where Nathan had hit me. My eyes were bloodshot and I now had quite noticeable bags under my eyes from lack of sleep.

I splashed water on my face and headed out the door.

Hope gave Matthew and me a ride to school and I headed to my locker to grab my books for my first class. I froze when I saw Nathan coming my way.

I grabbed my books, turned away from him and tried to put as much distance between us as I could, but I wasn't fast enough. He grabbed my hand and he wouldn't let go.

"Madi, didn't you get my phone calls and text messages? Why are you avoiding me? What happened on Friday night?" Nathan desperately asked. I slowly turned around and he saw the bruise on my face.

"Oh my god...did I do that to you?" Nathan asked as his hand brushed against my face.

I couldn't speak and my whole body trembled as he touched my face. He looked so sad and worried, but I was afraid that if I told him the truth he would hurt me again.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY SISTER," I heard Matthew yell. The next thing I knew he had shoved him against the locker. "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HER AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO HER."

I had never seen Matthew this angry before. He had always been the calm, rational one, but now he looked like he could kill Nathan.

"What did I do?"

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID...YOU BASTARD. IF YOU EVER COME NEAR HER AGAIN...I'LL KILL YOU," Matthew screamed as he banged Nathan's head against the lockers repeatedly.

"Matthew, remove your hands from Nathan right this minute," Cristian Vega stated.

Matthew released Nathan and stepped away from the lockers.

"If you have a disagreement this is not how to solve anything. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to call your parents and report this to the principle. I need you and Nathan to come with me."

I watched as Cristian led them away. Everything was over now...everybody was staring and whispering about me and I knew that it was only a matter of time before the whole school knew that Nathan raped me.

"Madi, are you okay?" Hope asked as she ran up to me.

"I need to go home," I stated. I had to get away from all the pointing fingers and all the whispered speculation about Friday Night. I couldn't help but worry that Matthew was telling Cristian that I had been raped.

XOXOXO

*Living Nightmare*

_"Madison, get your ass down here," I heard my father's shouts from downstairs._

"What's wrong?" I asked as I headed down the stairs. He was glaring at me with such hatred and contempt in his eyes...and worse was the shame and disappointment that was written all over my mother's face.

"Matthew told us everything. You lied to us about going to the movies. You went to the party dressed like a slutty whore and got drunk...then you went upstairs with Nathan and you teased and taunted him until he had no choice but to rape you."

"That's not how it happened. Yes, I lied about going to the party and went upstairs with Nathan, but it's not my fault that he raped me."

"Come on Madi, we both know that you were asking for it...just like your mother was asking for it the night that I raped her."

"That wasn't her fault that was yours and I wasn't asking for it either...mom...you've been in my shoes...tell dad that I didn't do anything wrong."

"You lied to us Madison. Your father and I told you that you were too young to go to parties without adult supervision. You were the one who drank...even after I warned you about the dangers of alcohol. Your father's right...you were dressed like a whore and went upstairs to be alone with a boy...what did you expect to happen Madison? Get out of our house...you make me sick," my mother stated.

"Please mom, don't send me away. I have nowhere else to go. I'm your daughter." I pleaded.

"We have no daughter, not after what you did," my father stated.

I headed out the door and my yard was filled with people pointing their fingers and laughing at me. 

I opened my eyes and looked around...I was inside. My father and mother wasn't there with me. I was in my room...I realized that I must have fallen asleep after Hope left. I wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, but I couldn't not when my nightmare was becoming a reality. Matthew was probably telling my mom and dad all about the party and how Nathan raped me.

I wanted to believe that my parents wouldn't blame me for the rape, but I couldn't...not when I blamed myself. I was constantly haunted with what if's. What if I had stayed home that night? What if I had gone to the movies like I should have? What if I was dressed modestly? What if I didn't drink? If I had done any one of those things differently then I wouldn't have been raped.

I felt trapped inside a living nightmare and I wanted out. I didn't want my parents to hate me...like I hated myself. I didn't want to become the talk of the town. I didn't want to live with the pain, humiliation and shame of that night for the rest of my life.

There was only one way out for me...the only way that I could get out of this nightmare was to die. I headed into my mom's bedroom and stole her bottle of sleeping pills out of her medicine cabinet.

Once I had retrieved the bottle I went back to my room and took the remaining pills. I laid down on the bed waiting for the sweet release of death when the thought occurred that maybe I hadn't done enough to bring death to my room.

If I was going to commit suicide...I needed to make sure it stuck. I went into the bathroom and broke my hand mirror and slammed it against the counter. The glass had shattered into a thousand different pieces, but all I needed was one. I picked up the glass and sliced it against my wrists and watched as the crimson blood began to flow.

I could feel my eyes getting heavy...the drugs were fast and I laid down on the bathroom floor and closed my eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

*Answers*

When I opened my eyes I was no longer in my room...I was in a hospital room. I knew that I had failed in my pursuit of finding death. My wrists hurt, my head was pounding, my stomach was in knots and I was dissapointed that I was still trapped in the nightmare that had become my life. I tried to get up, but there was restraints around my wrists.

I saw Matthew sleeping on the chair across from me and I needed to wake him up...I needed answers. Was my secret out? Did everyone know what Nathan did to me?

"Matthew, wake up...I need to talk to you," I stated in a tone, barely above a whisper.

"Madi? You're awake...I'm going to go get our parents. They're outside talking to your doctor, but they're going to be so relieved that you're awake," Matthew stated as he headed for the door.

"Wait Matthew, do they know?"

"Know what?"

"Did you tell them that I was raped?"

"Not yet, but I can't keep this secret for you any longer. You need help Madi."

"You can't tell them...please Matthew...I'm begging you." They didn't know...if I could find a way to convince Matthew not to say anything then maybe my nightmare wouldn't come true.

"You tried to kill yourself Madi and mom is blaming herself. They want answers...I want answers...why would you do that to yourself?"

"I was afraid that you were going to tell them that I was raped. I don't want anybody to know."

"I told you I wouldn't say anything."

"I know, but that was before you attacked Nathan. What happened in the principal's office? What did you tell them?"

"Nothing...I just sat there, but they're not stupid Madi...they know that something is going on...especially my Dad. He knows that Nathan hurt you. He doesn't know how, but it's only a matter of time before he does. I can't keep this secret not when my keeping quiet is hurting you."

"Please Matthew..." I pleaded.

"I was the one who found you...do you know how hard that was for me? I walked into your room to talk to you and there was so much blood and you weren't breathing. I thought you were dead. Don't you know how much I need you and how much I love you. I would do anything for you, but I'm not going to help you self destruct. Our parents deserve to know the truth and either you can tell them or I will."

"I'm sorry Matthew...I'll tell them...just give me some time to figure out what I'm going to say," I stated. Since Matthew wasn't going to keep my secret...I needed time to break out of here. I could warn Nathan to dissapear before Cole, Victor or my father killed him...I couldn't handle the guilt of his death as well, maybe I could dissapear...go to another town where nobody knew who I was...where I wouldn't have to deal with the pain and humiliation that the night had brought me.

"I'll give you 24 hours, but that's it. I'm going to go and find our parents now.

-

The door to my hospital room opened and I was terrified to see Nathan standing there.

"Nathan, what are you doing here? How did you know that I was here?" I asked as my voice shook with fear.

"I was with Hope when her parents called to tell her."

"Why were you with Hope?"

"I know that I hurt you and I was hoping that she would give me answers about that night."

I wanted to warn him to leave town before the truth came out, but how could I tell him how badly he hurt me. "What did she say?" I asked instead.

"She told me to leave it alone and to stay away from you."

"But...you're here. Why are you here?"

"I've had memories of that night and I need to know...did I rape you?"

"Yes," I stated as tears slid down my cheek.

"He WHAT?" My father shouted as he grabbed Nathan and threw him against the wall.

XOXOXO

*Demons and Punishment*

"What did you do to my daughter?" My father asked in a calm, cold tone that made me shiver.

He held him pinned to the wall and his hands were shaking as he brought them up and hit Nathan in the face.

"Dad, please don't hurt him," I pleaded.

"It doesn't feel so good to be hit does it? Did you hit my daughter? Are you the reason that she has a bruise on her face? Are you the reason that she tried to kill herself?"

"I'm sorry...I never wanted to hurt her," Nathan stated as he looked at me.

"You're sorry...SORRY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH. How many were there? Did you invite your friends to rape her? Did you sit by and do nothing as they raped her? Were you first? You filthy, disgusting piece of bastard. You don't deserve to live," he spat out as he placed his fingers around Nathan's neck and began to squeeze.

I had never seen my father like this. I was terrified that I would have to watch as he killed Nathan since I was powerless to do anything to stop him. I couldn't reason with him...he couldn't hear me. It was as if his past demons were mixing things up in his mind. I honestly didn't know if he was trying to kill Nathan for raping me or if he was trying to kill the rapist within himself for raping my mother.

I tried to get out of my bed but it was impossible with the restraints holding me down. "SOMEBODY HELP ME. HE'S GOING TO KILL HIM," I shouted.

My mother, Matthew, Victor and Cole came running in the room. "Todd, what is going on? Let that boy go. Madison doesn't need this," my mom pleaded as she touched his arm.

"I can't...he raped her Marty and he's got to be punished for that."

My mother's eyes settled on mine and I watched as all the color drained from her face as realization hit her. "She was raped?" my mom asked as she sat down on my bed.

"Please don't let him kill Nathan," I pleaded through hysterical sobs as I looked at Victor.

Victor and Cole pulled Todd off of Nathan.

"LET ME GO...I HAVE TO KILL HIM," he shouted as Victor and Cole held him away.

"Don't worry...I promise you that he's going to pay, but not here in front of Madi...she's suffered enough," Victor whispered in my father's ear.

My dad looked at me and there was such anguish and heartbreak in his eyes. "Get him out of my site before I change my mind."

Matthew helped Nathan to his feet. His neck was bruised from my father's fingers and his nose was bleeding. "I'm sorry Madison...I'm sorry about everything," he stated as he walked out the door.

"I'm sorry too," I whispered as he closed the door behind him.

XOXOXO

*Truth*

Victor, Cole and Matthew had left so that I could have some time to talk to my parents. My dad came and sat down on the bed next to my mom. He grabbed her hand in such a comforting gesture. I couldn't help but wonder if I could ever feel that comfort with Nathan again or if that was even what I wanted.

"Madison, please talk to us, tell us what happened between you and that boy," my mom pleaded with me.

"You already know what happened, " I stated trying to avoid looking into her tear stricken eyes.

"He raped you?"

"Yeah"

"When?" My father asked.

Now that the truth about my rape had come out I had to tell them the rest of the truth. I owed them that much especially my mother.

"On Friday...Hope, Matthew and I didn't go to the movies. I lied to you so that I could go to that party. Nathan invited me and I really liked him and wanted to spend some time with him outside of school."

"That bastard lured you to the party so that he could take advantage of you."

"It wasn't like that, I was the one who chose to lie to you," I argued.

"Just tell us what happened sweetie," my mom stated as she glared at my dad.

"When we got to the party, Nathan and I had a lot to drink," I explained.

"Oh Madi, why? Why would you do that?" mom asked me.

"I was nervous and I wanted Nathan to like me. I didn't want to seem childish or lame."

"Where was your brother? Or Hope for that matter? Why didn't they stop you from drinking?" my dad asked.

"It's not Matthew's or Hope's fault...they knew how I felt about Nathan so they left me with him and went to socialize with other kids. They didn't know I was drinking."

"How much did you have to drink?" My mom asked.

"I lost count, but I was drunk. Nathan and I went up to one of the bedrooms and we were making out." I looked over at my father and he looked mortified. "Dad, maybe you should leave...you shouldn't have to hear this part," I stated.

"No, I want to know what happened," he persisted.

"When things got intense I told him that I wasn't ready to have sex and I asked him to drive me home. He got angry and hit me and held me down while he raped me."

"Were there others in the room with you?" my dad asked me.

"It was just Nathan and me. I wasn't gang raped."

"Why didn't you tell us?" My mom asked.

"I was ashamed...I didn't want you to be mad at me. I just wanted to forget the whole night happened so I begged Matthew and Hope not to say anything. I didn't want you to hate me like I hate myself."

"Is that why you tried to kill yourself?" my mom asked.

"I didn't want you to know...I was afraid that you would find out and hate me. Please don't hate me," I pleaded with them.

"We could never hate you. You didn't do anything wrong. It was that son of a bitch 's Nathan's fault and I promise you that if he comes anywhere near you...I'll kill him," my dad stated.

"No, you can't. I don't want you to hurt Nathan... I don't want him to pay. It's not just his fault...I was the one who lied, and drank, and led him on. If Nathan dies because of me I'll never be able to forgive myself. Promise me on our love that you won't kill him."

"I can't make that promise Madi. He hurt you and he's going to answer for that," he stated and then left the room.


	6. Chapter 6

*Confession and Advice*

"Mom you have to talk to Dad. You're the only one who can get him to see reason. I don't want him to hurt Nathan," I pleaded.

"Madi, do you still have feelings for Nathan?"

"Yes, I wished that I didn't. I'm so confused...I hate him for what he did to me but I still love him and I don't know what to do about that? How can I love somebody who hurt me more than I've ever been hurt before? What should I do mom? Should I forgive him? How did you forgive dad after he hurt you?"

"Madi, forgiveness is a very personal thing and it's different for every situation. I can't tell you how to feel about him or if you'll be able to forgive him. Whether or not you can forgive him is between you and Nathan. As for your father It took me decades before I could forgive him. It took him a really long time for him to prove to me that he was sorry and would never hurt me or anybody else again. I think that it's important that you're trying to sort out your feelings for Nathan, but I don't want you to blame yourself as a way of excusing what he did to you."

"Mom, I'm not excusing him...I know that he hurt me and I hate him for it...I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him or trust him again. All I know is that I still love him and I want all the pain to go away. I want to rewind time and go back to the day before he raped me."

"I know baby, but you can't. I wish that I could take this pain away from you, but I can't. I can tell you that things will eventually get easier for you. The pain never completely goes away, but it does fade and I know that you can survive it."

"What about Nathan? Do you think that dad will kill him?"

"It's a possibility...I understand your father's anger. I want to hurt Nathan too, but it's not about what we want...it's about what you need so I promise that I will do everything that I can to make sure that your father doesn't hurt Nathan. Madi, justice still needs to be served. Your father is not going to let Nathan get away with hurting you and either am I. You need to press charges against him. I think that I can convince your father to stay away from Nathan as long as charges are filed and he goes to jail for what he did."

I didn't know whether or not I could survive the whole town knowing what had happened, or if I even wanted Nathan to go to jail, but my mom was right...there was no way that my dad would leave him alone if I didn't press charges. "You're right, I'll press charges against Nathan."

My mom called John Mcbain and I told him everything that I remembered about the night I was raped as my mom held my hand. I told him how I went to a hospital in Pine Valley and had a rape exam done...I even gave him the alias that I had used.

John took my statement and told me that they should have enough evidence to arrest Nathan soon.

XOXOXO

*Explanation*

_Nathan was just ahead of me. I called after him, but he wouldn't turn around. He just kept on walking. "Please talk to me. Why are you so mad at me? Tell me what I did?"_

He turned around and faced me and his eyes were filled with hatred. He grabbed my shoulders and began to shake me while he screamed at me. "You're nothing but a trashy whore who deserved everything I gave you. I can't believe you had the nerve to press charges against me when you were the one who couldn't keep her legs shut," Nathan shouted as he pushed me on the ground and climbed on top of me. "You've been very naughty and you've left me no choice," Nathan shouted as he pulled his pants down. 

I woke up and I realized that I was drenched in sweat. My breathing was erratic and my body was shaking. I tried to focus on the images in the room when I saw Nathan sitting by my side.

"Bad dreams?" he asked.

"What? What...are you doing...here?" I asked as I looked around for the nurse's call button. I was still in restraints and I felt completely trapped.

"I'm not...I'm not going to hurt you again. I just wanted to talk to you." Nathan stated.

"You shouldn't be here...if my dad sees you he's going to kill you."

"I'm not going to stay long, but I need to explain what happened the night of the party."

"I don't want to talk about that night with you. What's their to say...you raped me and nothing that you say is going to change that."

"You're right...I raped you...and you deserve an explanation...that's the least that I owe you."

"Okay," I stated letting him know that I was ready to hear his explanation.

"I wasn't just drinking that night. I was on Steroids and Ecstasy as well. I've been under so much pressure...nothing that I do is ever good enough for my dad and I just wanted him to be proud of me for once. I started taking Steroids a couple of months ago. Ever since then my mood's have been all over the place, but I told myself that it would be worth it if I could just hear my dad tell me that he was proud of me just once."

"I'm sorry," I stated. I didn't know what to say. I had always had two parents, three counting Victor, who I knew loved me and would do anything for me and I felt really bad for Nathan because he seemed so desperate to earn his father's love.

"I've liked you for a long time. You're the first girl that I've ever cared about and when you agreed to meet me at the party I was scared so I took some Ecstasy before you got there to take the edge off. I just wanted to impress you, but I fucked up and I hurt you more than I've ever hurt anybody before. I'm really sorry...will you ever forgive me?"

"I don't know if I can...you really hurt me and I don't know if I'll ever get passed what you did to me."

"I'm sorry...I wish that I could take it back, but I can't. I'm going to leave town and you'll never have to deal with me again."

"You can't...my father will kill you if you don't pay for what you did. If you go to prison then you'll at least be safe from my dad."

"I can't Madi...I might be safe from your dad if I go to prison, but I won't be safe from mine. I have to disappear and at least this way you won't have to testify about what I did to you. Take care of yourself," Nathan stated as he walked out of my room.

XOXOXO

*Therapy*

It had been weeks since I had been raped and my nightmares hadn't stopped...they had gotten worst. My grades at school was slipping because I was so exhausted and found it difficult to concentrate. I had a terrible bout of the flu that I just couldn't shake.

My mother suggested that we all go in for some family therapy. The rape had affected everyone. My dad never seemed to be around anymore and when he was...he was moody, distant and secretive. My parents were fighting all the time now and my brother Matthew had grown distant from me. We had always been each other's confidant, but lately, I couldn't shake the feeling that he was hiding something from me.

We all sat in Doctor Ray Martinez's office.

"Madi, your mother tells me that you've been having a lot of nightmares," Ray stated.

"Yeah, I have been."

"Do you always dream about the rape?"

"Sometimes, but I dream about other things too."

"Like what?"

"Last night I dreamt that my parent's and Matthew were all walking away from me. I called after them and they wouldn't turn around at look at me. They were all moving in separate directions until I was all alone. Then I saw him."

"Who?"

"Nathan. He told me that I had destroyed my family and that I was the reason that I was all alone. He told me that if I wanted to know who to blame I should look in the mirror."

"What did you see when you looked in the mirror?"

"I saw Nathan raping me...then I woke up?"

"Madison, do you blame yourself for the rape?"

"Yes," I stated as a tear trickled down my cheek.

"That's bullshit...it isn't your fault...it's that bastard Nathan's fault," my dad stated. "Why aren't you more angry at him? You should have killed him instead of trying to kill yourself."

"I am angry at Nathan, but there are reason's why he raped me. He was really messed up on drugs and alcohol. He didn't set out to hurt me...it just happened."

"How do you know? Has Nathan contacted you?"

"He came to see me while I was in the hospital and he told me why he raped me."

"That son-of-a-bitch is messing with your head. I'm going to kill him."

"Todd, you need to calm down...you're not helping anything," my mom stated.

"I'm not going to calm down while she rationalizes what that bastard did to her. What do you want from me Marty? Do you want me to sit here quietly while our daughter blames herself like you?"

"What would you have me do Todd? I hate that she's blaming herself just as much as you do."

"I want you to help her...you've been through it before so you should know how to help her."

"Yeah, I've been where she is because of you. I am helping her...I'm the one who sits up with her when she's too afraid to sleep. I'm doing the best that I can. At least I am there for her unlike you who stays away."

"Stop fighting," I shouted.

"You should have told us that he came to see you...I am tired of all of your secrets and lies," my father stated.

"I'm not the only one who lies in this family. You say that you don't blame me for the rape, but I know that you do."

"How can you say that?"

"You blamed my mother when you raped her."

"I was a different person back then. It was easier for me to blame Marty then to admit to what I had done, but I was wrong."

"Then why don't you ever look at me anymore. You're always gone and when you are home you avoid me. It's like you're ashamed of me."

"I'm not ashamed of you Madi...and I certainly don't blame you. I just...don't know how to help you. I'm your father and it's my job to keep you safe and I failed you and I'm so sorry," he stated as he begun to cry.

"It's not your fault dad," I stated. I had completely misread the situation. I had thought that he was keeping his distance from me because he blamed me, but now it was clear that he blamed himself.

"Yes it is Madi. Your mother and I should have done a better job of keeping you safe."

"Okay, I think that this is a good place to stop for today. I'll see you next week and if any of you want to talk before then please give me a call," Doctor Ray Martinez stated.

We drove home in silence and I couldn't help but wonder if our family would ever survive. My rape had become this monstrous issue that was destroying everything in it's path.


	7. Chapter 7

*Consequences*

It had been a month since the night that I had been raped. I had been so sick and my period was late and I was terrified that I might be pregnant. I kept telling myself that it wasn't possible. I had taken the morning after pill so there had to be another reason for my sickness.

I wanted to believe that it was just stress, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to relax until I had taken the dreadful test.

I waited until it was late at night in hopes that everyone else had gone to bed. I went into the bathroom and peed on the stick.

Afterwards I washed my hands and went out into the hallway to wait the three minutes until I could look at the results.

"Where the hell have you been? It's midnight for God's sakes," I heard my mom shout from downstairs.

"I had to work late," my father responded.

"You're lying to me...Is there another woman? Are you cheating on me?" she asked.

"I'm not cheating on you Marty. I love you and would never hurt you that way. I'm sorry that I was late, but work's been really crazy right now and they need me there."

"I stopped by your office tonight and Leslie informed me that you haven't been into work for over a month. So where have you been?"

"You shouldn't have done that Marty. I wish that you could trust me and stop spying on me."

"Trust is earned Todd, and you haven't earned it. I 'm tired of your lies and I won't stand by and watch you play me for a fool."

"Leave it alone Marty...if you continue to push me, I can guarantee that you won't like the consequences."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Of course not...I'm just warning you."

"Go to hell Todd," I heard my mother say. The next thing that I heard was the slamming of the door.

"Come on Marty, unlock the door," I heard my father plead.

I was tired of hearing my parents fight and I was afraid that I would be the reason that they split up. I crept back into the bathroom and looked at the test.

I stared at the pink plus sign and I sank to the floor. I was pregnant with Nathan's child and I didn't know what I was going to do.

XOXOXO

*Revelations*

I called Hope over because I really needed to confide in somebody and if I told my mom I was certain that she would tell my dad and I wasn't ready for him to know.

"What's going on?" Hope asked as she walked in my room.

"I'm pregnant. Matthew and my parents don't know yet so please don't say anything to them."

"What are you going to do?" Hope asked as she sat on my bed.

"I'm already the reason that my parents are fighting. This baby...it could push them over the edge and destroy whatever's left of my family. Maybe I should just get an abortion," I stated as I laid my head down on Hope's lap.

"Forget about how this child will affect your family for five seconds and tell me what you want. Do you want to have this baby?"

"I don't know. Part of me wants to keep this child, but I'm fifteen and I don't know anything about being a parent."

"Whatever you decide I'm going to support you, but you can't have an abortion if there's even a little part of you that wants this child. If you have an abortion just so your father won't find out that you're pregnant... I know that you'll regret it and I don't want you to have any regrets. I'm always here for you, but you should think about telling your mom."

"I can't...she's already going through so much. I can't burden her with this too."

"Grandma would want to know. She wouldn't think of it as a burden."

"I know you're right. I'll think about telling her," I stated.

"Okay, that's all I'm asking."

"Do you want to go to the Buenos Dias for lunch?"

"I can't...I have to figure out what my father's hiding."

"What do you mean?"

"I overheard him fighting with my mom yesterday. He's been gone a lot and telling her that he's been at work, but his secretary told her that he hasn't been into work all month. I need to put my family back together and I can't do that until I figure out what my father is hiding from my mom?"

"We can follow grandpa in my car."

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not...my dad's been gone a lot lately. He's been fighting a lot with my mom too. I just have this feeling that my dad is helping your dad with something that they want to keep quiet."

"Maybe you're right...Matthew's been very distant as well."

"What do you think they're up to?"

"I don't know...my father stuck around the house this morning and we can follow him when he leaves. I heard him talking to somebody on the phone and I heard him say that he would be there this afternoon."

XOXOXO

We followed my dad to this abandoned warehouse on the docks.

"That's my dad's car," Hope stated as we pulled up in the parking lot.

"Yeah, and that car over there looks like it's Victor's car," I stated.

We drove around for about ten minutes and then we parked our car at one of the other warehouses down the street so that our dads wouldn't know that we followed them here.

We crept into the warehouse, staying low and then I saw what my father had been hiding.

Nathan was suspended in the air by some kind of pulley system that was connected to the ropes on his hands. He was completely naked and covered in bruises and scars. My dad, Cole, Victor and Matthew were taking turns hitting him with bats. Nathan had his mouth taped shut so he couldn't scream and he had a large scar on the side of his face that looked identical to my fathers.

XOXOXO

*Torture and Punishment*

"What should we do?" Hope whispered to me.

"I'm going to text my mom and tell her to come here. I've never seen my dad this way and I don't know what else to do. If we call the cops then they'll all go to prison," I whispered back.

I pulled out my phone and texted my mom the address. I told her that dad was out of control and I needed her to come right away. I switched my phone to vibrate and looked at my father hitting Nathan with his bat.

"You don't deserve to live, I could kill you and nobody would even care because you're a worthless waste of human space." I heard my dad say as he dropped the bat to the ground. "I could kill you, but then you're suffering would end...while my daughter continues to suffer. She still has nightmares...did you know that? She still feels terrified because you took your anger out on her and you made her feel weak, pathetic and worthless. I want you to live with what you did. I want you to feel the torture that you made my daughter feel for the rest of your life," My dad stated as he took out his lighter and began to burn Nathan's penis.

"Stop it!" I screamed as I stood up. I was terrified of my father, but I couldn't stand to watch Nathan being tortured any longer.

"Madi, what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here? You need to leave," he stated as he stopped burning Nathan and turned to look at me.

"I'm not leaving without Nathan," I stated. Victor and Cole came over to us and tried to get us to leave, but I refused to move.

"Come on Madi...let's go. We'll talk about this later," Victor stated as he tried to guide me towards the exit.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," I stated as I pushed Victor away from me.

"Nathan needs to pay for what he did to you," Victor pleaded with me as if I could understand their reasons for torturing him.

"He's already paid enough...look at what you did to him, he doesn't deserve this."

I watched as my dad pulled out his pocket knife and walked to where Nathan was bound. I thought that he was going to cut the ropes and set him free but I was wrong."He deserves so much worse than this. He's a vile, disgusting monster who gets off on making other people suffer," my dad stated as he stuck the knife through Nathan's hand.

"You're no better than he is. If you love me at all then you'll stop and you'll let Nathan go before it's too late."

"I love you Madi...you're the reason that I'm doing all this."

"What's going on here?" My mom asked as she entered the warehouse.

"Mom," I stated as I ran to her side. "Dad's been torturing Nathan. You have to make him stop."

"So this is what you've been keeping from me?" my mom asked as she walked over to Nathan. She pulled the knife out of Nathan's hand and cut his ropes.

"Don't cut him loose Marty. He hasn't paid."

"It's over Todd, I'm not going to let you hurt this boy any longer so unless you want to hurt me to get to him I suggest you get out of my way and shut up."

My dad looked angry and for a second I thought that he was going to hurt my mom, but instead he moved out of her way.

She called for an ambulance while she took the tape off of his mouth.

She traced the scar on Nathan's cheek and glared at my father.

My mother stayed by Nathan's side until the ambulance showed up.

"What's going on here?" John asked.

"We have nothing to say until we speak with our attorney," Victor stated.

"I just have a couple of questions to ask you."

"Then I suggest that you talk with our attorney and arrange for a time when we can answer your questions," Victor stated as he walked away from John.

"I'm going to go and get a statement from Nathan so I suggest that none of you leave town," John stated as he climbed into his car and drove away.

"Marty, we need to talk," my dad stated.

"I have nothing to say to you. Come on Madi, let's go," she stated as she placed her arms around me and we walked away from the warehouse.


	8. Chapter 8

*Separation*

"Pack your bags Madi," my mom stated as soon as we walked in the door.

"Why? Where are we going?"

"I'm going to book a room in the palace hotel tonight," my mom stated.

"Are you and dad going to get divorced?" I asked.

"I don't...I don't know. I just need space...just pack your bags. I want to be gone before your father gets home," she replied as tears filled her eyes.

"Okay," I stated as I hugged my mom and headed upstairs to pack. I didn't want my parents to get separated but I understood why my mom didn't want to stay in this house with him any longer. I didn't want to see him either.

I packed some clothes and my toothbrush in a bag and headed down the stairs.

"Are you ready to go?" my mom asked and then the door opened and my dad walked in the door.

"What is this? Where are you going?" my dad asked as he motioned towards the bags in my hand.

"Madi and I are going to the Palace hotel tonight," my mom stated.

"Please Marty don't leave me. I know that we can work it out," my dad pleaded.

"I'm sorry Todd, but I can't stay in this house with you after what you did to that poor boy."

"That poor boy raped our daughter and he needed to pay for that. I just wanted justice for our daughter."

"If you really wanted justice then you would have let the legal system punish Nathan, but you weren't after justice you were after revenge. Revenge against him and revenge against yourself."

"Marty, Victor caught Nathan at the airport. He was trying to dissapear. We did what we had to do."

"Then you should have called the police. You didn't have tot take him to an abandoned warehouse and torture him for a month. come on Madi let's go."

"I won't let you leave me for trying to protect our daughter from a rapist," my dad stated as he grabbed my mom's shoulders.

"The only rapist that our daughter needs protection from is you," she stated as she slapped him across the face. "I thought that you had changed, but you haven't changed. You're still the same controlling, vindictive bastard that you've always been. What happened to the man that I fell in love with and married?"

"I'm still that man," Todd explained.

You've changed back into the frat boy who gets off on humiliating, degrading and destroying other people in the name of revenge. Are you even sorry for what you did to him?"

"We didn't do anything wrong. He asked for it."

"The way that I asked for it when you and your friends raped me?" my mom asked.

"That's not fair Marty. I know that what I did to you was wrong. You know how much I regret what I did to you. I hate that part of me and that's why I needed to make Nathan pay. He scarred our daughter so I gave him a scar so that he would never forget who he was or what he did. Why can't you understand?"

"I'm never going to understand. You promised me that you would never hurt me or your daughter, but you did."

"Madi, please tell your mom that you understand why I had to hurt Nathan."

"I'm sorry dad, but what you did was absolutely disgusting. I'm never going to forgive you," I stated.

"Get out of our way Todd, unless you want to hurt us anymore than you already have," my mom stated.

"I'll let you go for tonight, but I'm not giving up on us . You're my family and I love you," my dad stated as he moved out of our way.

My mom and I left and I didn't know if my family would ever get past my father's betrayal.

XOXOXO

*Guilt and remorse*

It had been a week since my mom and I had moved into the Palace Hotel. I was beginning to show a little bit of the baby bump and I knew that I had to make a decision about this child soon.

I wanted to tell my mom because I knew that I could really use her advice but I couldn't. I had already burdened my mom enough. I had never seen her so miserable. She tried to put on a brave front for me but I could hear here crying late at night.

I knew that Matthew felt bad for his actions. My mom had grounded Matthew for 32 weeks. She grounded him for a week for every day that they had kept Nathan as their prisoner and I wasn't speaking to him. I really missed him and I knew that the silent treatment was hurting me just as much as him, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to him when I didn't trust him.

My mother and I had not spoken to Cole or to Victor since we found them torturing Nathan. They called and left messages and sent us flowers every day with cards telling us how sorry they were.

We hadn't heard anything from my dad which was strange for him. For as long as I knew him, my dad would never back down once he set his mind to something so his absence was incredibly unsettling.

I heard a knock on our hotel door so I answered it to find John standing there. "Hey Madi, is your mom here?"

"I'm right here," my mom said as she came out of the bedroom.

"I need to talk to you about Todd?"

"What about him? Has he been arrested?" I asked.

"No...not yet."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Nathan refuses to press charges and he's claiming that Todd, Victor, Cole and Matthew never laid a finger on him so we don't have enough evidence to prosecute your father, uncle or brothers. Marty, I need you to talk to Todd."

"Where is he?" my mom asked.

"Todd has barricaded himself into the KAD house. It was scheduled to be torn down today but he refuses to leave. I hate to even ask, but I need your help."

"I see. I'll be right back Madi."

No...I'm coming with you...please mom. I'm really worried about him.

"Okay Madison you can come and who knows you might be able to help me reach him.

XOXOXO

"Todd, open the door," my mom pleaded as we stood outside the bedroom door at the top of the stairs.

"Marty? What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here," my dad stated as he opened the door.

My dad looked like hell...it was obvious that he hadn't showered in a week and he smelled like Whiskey.

"What are you doing Todd? Why would you come here?" My mom asked as she turned the questions back on him.

"I raped you here Marty and I never paid for that. I hurt you so badly...your hands were so bruised from being held down and I ordered my friends to rape you too."

"I know...I remember, but it's over with. I survived...it doesn't matter any more."

"It matters to me. I am so sorry that I hurt you. I hate myself for what I did to you and you're right. I haven't changed...the monster that raped you still exists in me. I have to kill him Marty," my dad said as he pointed a gun to his head.

I had never realized how haunted by the past my father was until that moment. There had to be a way to save him. I hated him for what he did but I loved him too and I couldn't just stand there and watch him kill himself.

XOXOXO

*Forgiveness*

"Todd, if you kill yourself. I will never get over that. Watching you die will completely destroy me and your daughter. Is that what you want?" my mom asked.

"Of course not Marty but I don't deserve to live after what I did to you."

"Maybe not, but I love you...I've always loved you even in our darkest moments. My love for you is stronger then the pain and the rage and I forgave you. If you love me at all then you'll put that gun down and forgive yourself."

I breathed a sigh of relief as my father dropped the gun and embraced my mom. He cried as she held him and then we walked out of the KAD house hand in hand.

We watched as they tore down the KAD house. "Let's go home Todd," my mom stated as the haunted building collapsed to dust.

He took her outstretched hand and we all went home together. My mother's forgiveness was truly remarkable and I couldn't help but wish that I could learn to forgive the people who had wronged me.

"Hey dad, I'm glad that you didn't kill yourself," I stated as I gave him a hug.

"I love you Madi. Everything that I did to Nathan was because I love you so much."

"I'm never going to agree with what you did, but you're still my father and I still love you," I stated.

When we got home I called Victor and Cole and told them that I still loved them and was working on forgiving them.

I called a cab...and while I waited for it to show up, I went to Matthew's room.

"Hey Matthew how was your day?" I asked as I walked into his room.

"You're talking to me...does this mean that you forgive me?"Matthew asked.

"It means that I've missed talking to you," I stated as I gave him a hug.

"I missed talking to you too Madi. Do you want to watch a movie with me?"

"I can't...I have an errand that I need to run but we'll hang out when I get back," I stated.

I took a deep breath as I hopped into the cab. I was nervous, but I knew that this was something that I had to do. 


	9. Chapter 9

*Decisions*

I stepped out of the cab and headed into the clinic. My hands were shaking as I gave the receptionist my name. I wish that I didn't have to be here, but it had to be this way. I was terrified that if my father found out that I was pregnant he would become suicidal again.

"Madison, do you have the signed permission form?" the nurse asked. I was under age so I had to forge my mother's signature on the permission forms. I handed the paper over to her as she examined the paperwork.

"Is anybody coming to be here with you?"

"No...I'm all by myself. My parents had to work."

"Okay, the doctor will be here in a minute," the nurse stated as she left me alone.

I dressed in the hospital gown and laid on the examination table. I closed my eyes and thought about my child. Was I making the right decision? Would I always think about the life that Nathan and I had made? Could my family survive if I decided to keep this child? I was plagued with doubts. I wanted to keep my child, but I was scared. Having an abortion would solve all of my problems, but I knew that I would regret it.

"Hello Madison, I'm going to run a quick ultrasound before I begin the procedure," he said as he rubbed some liquid all over my stomach.

I heard the tiny heartbeat and I began to cry. I didn't think it was possible, but I had already fallen in love with this tiny life. I couldn't do this. "I'm sorry, I've changed my mind...I can't do this," I said as I began to cry.

"That's okay...it's a big decision that you need to be sure about," the doctor stated. He left so that I could get changed. Afterwards I paid the receptionist with the cash that I had saved up and I left.

The cab driver dropped me off in front of Tea's office. "I need to hire you as a lawyer," I stated as I put the rest of my cash on her desk.

"Madi, are you in legal trouble?"

"I need to hire you to represent a friend of mine. Will you do it?"

"Of course. What's going on?" Tea asked.

"I need you to make sure that Nate doesn't go to prison for raping me," I stated.

XOXOXO

*Counsel and guidance*

"You want me to represent Nate?" Tea asked.

"I do...you're the best lawyer I know. You have to help him," I pleaded with her.

"I can't do that. He raped you Madi and he needs to pay for that."

"Haven't you always said that everybody is entitled to a defense? It's why you've defended my father and uncle numerous times when they've been guilty."

"I can't defend him...it's a conflict of interest for me since I'm practically your step mother."

"Since when have you ever stepped aside due to a conflict of interest? If you don't represent Nate then I'll find somebody else to and when I'm on the stand I'll tell everybody that he didn't rape me."

"You can't perjure yourself Madi."

"Then tell me that you'll represent him so I won't have to," I stated. I knew that I was playing dirty, but it was the only thing that I knew would convince her to take his case.

"Madi, he raped you. Why don't you want him to pay for that?"

"Because I still love him and he's the father of my child, besides we both know that he's going to pay for the rest of his life for what he did whether he goes to prison or not. My father only served a year of jail time for what he did to my mom. Some people might say that he got off easy for what he did, but I've seen the amount of guilt and self hatred that he carries around with him and I know that he's never going to stop paying for the pain that he caused my mom. "

"Wait a minute...did you just say that he's the father of your child?"

"Yeah...I'm pregnant."

"Does your parents know?"

"Not yet, but I'm going to tell them this afternoon. Will you take the case?"

"Victor will be so angry with me," Tea stated.

"Does that mean that you'll defend Nate?"

"I'll defend Nate," she confirmed.

XOXOXO

I had called my family and told them to meet me at ST. James church so that I could tell them the news with help from Andrew. He was one of my mom's closest friends and I knew that my father thought highly of him so I thought that they would take the news better with his counsel. If I was to be honest with myself...I needed Andrew's support, strength and guidance in order to tell my family the truth that they deserved to know.

"What's going on Madi? Why did you want us to meet you here?" my dad asked.

"There's something very important that I've been keeping from you and I won't be able to keep it a secret any longer."

"You've been lying to us?" My father asked.

"Please just listen to your daughter. There's something very important that she's trying to tell you," Andrew stated.

"We've all been keeping secrets from one another. I just didn't want to hurt you any more than I already have until I had made a decision about what I wanted to do."

"What decision? What do you need to tell us?" my mom asked.

I was so scared of my family's reaction and for a brief second I thought about running away from the situation until I saw Andrew's encouraging smile.

"It's okay Madi, you can tell them. They love you and only want to help you," Andrew encouraged me.

"I'm pregnant with Nate's child," I revealed.

XOXOXO

"Reactions and Pleas"

"I'm pregnant with Nate's baby.

"That fuckin son-of-bitch," my dad stated as he clenched his fists together.

"How long have you known? " my mom asked.

"About three months."

"Why didn't you tell us?" my mom asked.

"I thought that I could have an abortion and nobody would have to know. I went to the clinic, but I couldn't go through with it."

"Do you want to keep this baby?" My dad asked.

"I do, but I'm going to need your help. Will you and mom help me raise this child?" I asked.

"Of course Madi. The baby is innocent and your mother and I will help you with whatever you need," my dad stated as he hugged me.

I pulled away when my phone rang. "Hey Tea, what's going on?" I asked.

"Madi, I just wanted to call you and let you know that Nathan's being arraigned in an hour," Tea explained.

"Okay, we'll be right there," I stated and then hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Victor asked.

"That was Tea. She just called to let me know that Nate's arraignment is this afternoon. Can we go?" I asked my dad.

"Yeah, I think it will be good for you to see justice done," my dad stated.

XOXOXO

We filed into the courtroom as Victor and my dad glared at Tea and Nate.

"Tea, what the hell?" Victor asked.

"I'm defending Nate," Tea explained as she walked up to us.

"How could you do this to Madi?" Todd asked.

"I'm doing this for Madi."

"Wait a minute...are you going to sabotage his case?" Victor whispered.

"No...I'm going to defend him as much as he'll allow me to."

"Why?" My mom asked as she looked at me.

"Because I asked her too."

"Why would you do that?" my dad asked.

The judge came into the room before I could answer and Tea left to stand by Nate.

"Will the defendant please rise?" Judge Fitzgerald asked.

"Nathan stood up and looked at the judge. He was scared...I could see it in his eyes.

"How do you plead to the charge of rape?" Judge Fitzgerald asked.

"I plead guilty," Nathan stated.

"We'll adjourn until tomorrow morning at which point we will meet for sentencing," the judge stated as he banged his gravel and left the courtroom.

"How could you do this Tea? You were supposed to get him off," I stated.

"It's what I wanted Maddie. I did a terrible, disgusting thing to you and I need to pay for that. I'm really sorry for all the pain that I've caused you," Nathan stated as the guards placed the handcuffs back around him and led him out of the courtroom.


	10. Chapter 10

*Sentencing*

The next day I went to Nate's sentencing. I sat next to my mom and dad. I knew that my dad hated the idea, but he came anyways because he knew that this was something that I had to do.

"Does anybody have anything they would like to say before I pass sentencing?" Judge Fitzgerald asked.

My mom squeezed my hand as I stood up. "I would like to say something your honor."

"Go ahead," Judge Fitzgerald stated.

"My name is "Madison Manning, I just wanted to ask you for leniency on Nathan's behalf. He raped me and hurt me more then I have ever been hurt before, but I forgive him, because there is more good in him then not. I can forgive him because he's so much more then the ugliness of that night and I think that his soul is worth saving," I said as I sat down.

"Does anybody else have anything to say?" Judge Fitzgerald asked.

"I do," my dad said as he stood up. He hurt my daughter and I will forever hate him for all of the pain that he caused her. The punishment that I think would be most fitting is if he spent the rest of his life behind bars, but this isn't about what I want, this is about what she needs to heal. She needs to forgive him and that is why I am ultimately asking you to show him leniency," my dad said as he sat down next to me.

"Thanks dad," I whispered.

The judge asked for a break as he disappeared to his chambers. After fifteen minutes the proceedings started again.

"I have taken into account the statements that were made by Miss Manning and her family. I sentence you to five years at Statesville prison, parole after three years," the judge ordered as he banged the gavel on his desk.

XOXOXO

Four years later...

I was nervous, Nathan was being released today and it would be his first time meeting his daughter Natasha. She looked just like him, she had his smile and every time that I looked at her, I thought about him.

I had wanted to visit him, but he didn't want me to see him there so I wrote letters to him instead. With every passing day and every letter I received, I was one day closer to his coming home.

"Are you sure that you want him living with you?" my dad asked as he sat on the ground playing with his grand-daughter.

"I'm positive...I love him just like mom loves you," I reminded him.

"Well he doesn't deserve you just like I don't deserve your mother."

"People can change dad."

"I know, but I think that I'll be keeping my eye on him just in case. Marty and I are having dinner at Victor and Tea's tonight, so I have to get going," he said as he hugged me.

"Bye Tash," he said to my daughter.

She ran into his outstretched arms and gave him a kiss on the cheek and then she went back to coloring.

I walked my father out and watched him drive away just as a Taxi cab pulled up. Nate stepped out and I ran over to him and gave him a hug.

"Are you ready to meet your daughter?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he whispered as he took my hand.

"Natasha, I want you to come and say hi to your daddy."

She came and stood behind my leg as she peered out at him.

"I have something for you," he said as he held out a rag doll for her."

She took it and clutched it to her chest and then she hugged him. "I have a picture of you," she said.

"I have a picture of you too," he said as he held his arms open for us.

Natasha and I went into his outstretched arms and I knew then that I had made the right decision in loving him and forgiving him.

The End


End file.
